Do the Hard Thing: Choose Happy
We have the power to turn things around inside of ourselves
We have the power to be the sun, even when we can’t see the sun.
All we have to do, is choose HAPPY
When I woke up today, I was not feeling it. Not even a ‘lil bit. Everything I had to do seemed daunting and impossible. I moved at a glacial pace whilst getting ready and I dreaded what the day had in store.
I woke up with a bad case of the “I don’t wanna”s (a terrible sickness that can overtake you out of no where). The worst part? This feeling - this sickness - can hijack more than just your mood. The “I don’t wanna”s can effect your interactions with friends or your partner, your interactions with coworkers and clients, and even get in the way of present opportunities from entering your orbit. Left untreated a case of the “I don’t wanna”s can ruin not only your mood and your morning, it is bound to ruin your whole day.
Here’s how:
You are doing everything so slow this morning that it seems you’re intentionally making yourself late, just because you didn’t want to face everything you have on your ‘to-do’ list for the day. This bad mood leads you to drag your feet. You could possibly still make up the wasted time, but you won’t because you’re giving it a half-ass effort. You don’t move any faster, because you just don’t wanna.
At this point you are literally making yourself late, which gives you anxiety when you realize that you won’t make it to work on time. You could use the anxiety as motivation to move faster though your routine, but you don’t because you would really rather not get ready at all. You are giving it a half-ass effort. Instead, this anxiety leads you to skip steps in your routine and be unnecessarily clumsy. You could remember your usual techniques and breath through this anxiety, but you won’t because you just don’t wanna.
You don’t make your coffee right because you of course would really rather not have to make any at all. This coffee leads you to say “nothing is going right for me this morning”, because of course it isn’t with all that half ass effort. You don’t try to make it right though, because you just don’t wanna.
You pick something frumpy to wear for the day because you would really rather not pick out anything out at all. This frumpy outfit leads you to talk down on yourself, because it’s not what you want to wear, and of course you aren’t looking your best with all that half-ass effort. You don’t look for something else to wear though, because you just don’t wanna.
You let traffic set you off or annoy you, because of course you would really rather not be on the road at all. This cumbersome commute leads you to curse everyone on the road for your tardiness. You just go with the flow of traffic though, because you’re giving the whole drive a half-ass effort. You could have gone around them and got in the fast lane, but you just didn’t wanna.
You make small mistakes and errors in your work because of course you would really rather not be there at all. These errors lead you to talk bad about your abilities, because of course you aren’t performing at your best with all that half ass effort. You don’t try harder today though, because you just don’t wanna.
Did you find the theme? What I’m really talking about of course is a lack of motivation. I had no REAL reason to drag my feet this morning, I just did. Some mornings are harder than others, for many people, and that’s OKAY. What isn’t okay, is allowing that hard morning to orchestrate the tone of your whole day. We have the power to turn things around inside of ourselves - We have the power to be the sun, even when we can’t see the sun.
My point is you don’t have to be a victim of the sickness - the “I don’t wanna”s - if you can just find a way to turn your day around, right away. It is easy to forget, but we really are the only one in control of our mood and mindset and if we practice how, we can always choose happy. You can see the rain, or you can see the rainbow. It is your choice, even when you come down with a bad case of the “I don’t wanna”’s. You can let it take over you, or you can kick that feeling’s ass.
I did the hard thing today - even though I didn’t wanna, I chose happiness. I chose gratitude and that turned into happiness.
Happiness is the one and only thing that can restore my motivation 100% of the time.
How do you do this though?
First things first, recognize that this “sickness” is a mindset caused by a lack of fulfillment of basic needs like sleep and nourishment. It’s that rudimentary. Find a way to get both a great sleep and eating schedule down, and you won’t wake up with these feelings as often. When your basic needs are being met, you are naturally inclined, and more able, to choose happy and be more motivated to get out there and kick some butt.
Nonetheless - I will not deny it - choosing happy when you lack motivation can be hard. So, to break the cycle of funk and choose happy, I did a couple of things:
I stopped my huffing for a moment to look inward and honor myself and my feelings. I didn’t stew in the feeling of “I don’t wanna”, but acknowledged that that was the funk I was starting the day in. Once I acknowledged the funk I was able to look in in the eyes and say “NOT TODAY”. I (like most, I think) don’t do well when being forced into doing something, even when it’s myself making me do it. So looking this funk in the eyes and deciding that it cannot force you to have a bad day is step one. You just started to take control of your mindset and mood.
I let myself sit still and drink coffee for two minutes. I sort of like to think of these few minutes as allowing myself to revolt against the “to do” list, but with a time limit. Crazy enough just being okay with not wanting to do ‘it’ (whatever that may be) for a minute is really helpful. It’s like your brain goes “hey, thanks for not just making me run the second I woke up. That’s what I was fighting; but OK i get it - You’ve got stuff to do. I’ve got to chill, now lets get to it.”
Do something extra (but not something that takes extra work…) to make your morning or self feel spacial. One thing that can be extra that is extra simple - froth the milk or creamer in your coffee. If your first cup is special, the whole day seems more doable. Another favorite trick for these mornings, I like to make myself feel pretty. I have a ‘go-to’ makeup look I love, and an easy bun routine for these days. Figure out what your ‘go-to’s are…. does red lipstick give you an extra layer of confidence? Does wearing all black make you feel chic and bold? Does wearing your hair back make you feel like you can tackle the world? Do you have a favorite pair of boots? Whatever those instant confidence tricks are - this is the morning for them! Don’t shy away from something that is fabulous, a little fancy or bold, or even a favorite item because “well there may be a more important day this week I’ll need to wear it…” no, TODAY is the important day and you need to wear that favorite item. It will propel you into a better mood just by putting it on.
Embrace the power of a good pep talk. You are your best consultant on these internal matters, and so you should check in with yourself regularly. Tell yourself how awesome you are going to make this day. Tell yourself what it is you have to look forward to once you make it through. Tell yourself that you are competent and capable and you will feel more able. Give yourself a compliment in the mirror and go. When you start your drive to work, set your intentions for the day. Say it out loud… “TODAY I CHOOSE HAPPY”
Lastly; Count your blessings. Say a few things you’re grateful for… and I don’t mean the “grateful for my health and my mom, etc” type. DIG DEEP. Maybe you’re grateful that at least today is Tuesday, trash day, and you finally won’t have to look at that overflowing can anymore. Maybe you’re grateful that the dog came and cuddled on your feet (even though they gave you less room to sleep). Maybe you’re grateful that you got your brows done last week so you don’t look like a hairy mammoth this morning. Maybe you’re up to early - but maybe at least you get to see the beautiful sunrise. Find joy in the mundane and be thankful for the things you take for granted and choosing happy will come more naturally.
We are not all perfect - no matter how much we try to seem that way. We all have bad days - no matter who you are.
Donut worry - Be Happy. You can turn this day around - you can choose happy.
