Fashion doesn’t have to be very complicated. Self care doesn’t have to be very complicated. So why does the idea of fashion as a form of self care feel so complicated to explain?

When I stopped over thinking it, it wasn’t.

The concept of using fashion as a form of self care may be hard to understand by a nay-sayer or someone who has never allowed themselves to indulge. Someone that has never left a shopping trip feeling alive again, never experienced the rush of emotions a make-over can bring, has never styled a friend and heard that squeal of delight they give out when you got the outfit just right, or has never felt so inspired from a magazine that they can finally leave their couch. The concept hinges on the fact that there is a proven reciprocal relationship between how we feel and what we wear. Looking beautiful and FEELING beautiful are two different things, and one is certainly more important than the other by a long shot; but if what you put on the outside helps influence how you feel on the inside… well then I think it would be silly to deny yourself of that outlet. (Oh wow, I just called myself out big time this week… we’ll get into that in a moment).

Anyway: Think about it, when you look good you feel good, right? And when you feel good about yourself, you show up for yourself, and you do your best. That’s not that complicated now is it.

Back to where I called myself out - there’s a story behind that. This blog isn’t something that happened out of thin air, and though I’ve been working on a true “about” page to explain it all, I thought now might be a good time for a peek behind the curtain.

You might have seen this week’s Instagram post where I talked about changing my IG handle officially to “Styled to Smile”. That was a big step for me! But every word of that caption was true, and so I want to dive into that a little deeper.

I had been ‘@nenereneee’ since circa 2009 and it was funny how changing that was something I completely hesitated on and was nervous to do. NeNe is an old nick name that I think I’m finally outgrowing. I still love it, don’t get me wrong! But it’s reflective of a time in my life that doesn’t ring true to me anymore. Letting go of that handle made me realize all of this, and it made me realize that this blog is so much more to me than something I do… it is truly a part of me. Mental Health is so important and making it a priority is something that a lot of people, myself included, struggle with. In College, I was so focused on being ‘intelligent’ and excelling in my studies and career field that I never allowed myself the time for even basic things that made me happy. I felt that a ‘smart’ woman couldn’t spend time reading blogs, shopping online, or spending time doing anything outside of academia really. I had brain washed myself with the voices of social structures that said “you have to be this and that” in order to be successful. I was already fighting depression, I didn’t have a great social life any more, and was in a long distance relationship on top of already being away from everyone that helped me feel my best. I found myself floundering. I couldn’t connect with girl friends, I hated getting dressed for the day, and I had constant anxiety attacks. I spent 4 years denying myself of something that was one of my biggest passions, one of my main outlets for expression, something that brought me happiness.

Fortunately a few months after graduating I found myself working in an office job that praised someone for excelling not only in their work but in showing up for the part. This reinforcement that looking my best would really help me do my best sparked the flame in me again and I remembered how powerful dressing for the part made me feel. This just scratches the surface, but this time of my life reminded me that fashion is not something to deny but something for me to lean in to to feel whole. Fashion may be looked at as a shallow pool by some, but for me fashion is deep… it is something that can fill my soul.

For me - fashion, shopping, talking about clothes and trends, styling outfits, trying new things, expressing myself… that’s all a part of my self care. Self care is certainly not selfish and it is not something to be ashamed of needing to do. You deserve to feel your best and to bring out your inner best to make the most of everyday. Being as depressed as I was sucked, and I never made my way out of that hole until I stopped denying myself of the things that made me feel happy. I have never been more successful in my career or in my relationship than when I finally allowed myself to indulge in fashion that fills me. If you really think about it, you know we only have a limited time here on this fine planet, and dammit I am committed now to spend that time HAPPY. Happy people are successful people is something I’ve learned. I now look at happiness as the scale for success. To live a life that feels true and authentic to my happiness is all I want. This blog helps me do that, and I hope that by sharing this all with you it encourages you to do the same. I hope it encourages you to get in touch with whatever it is that makes you feel whole, regardless of what you think other people might say or think about it. I hope it encourages you to explore alternate forms of self care and serves as a reminder to put yourself on your list. I will never promise to be perfect; I only promise to show up for myself and for you all reading. This blog and I are in an ever-evolving process and I couldn’t thank you more for joining me in this safe space, being along for the ride, and providing me motivation to keep climbing. I just hope I inspire a little bit of the same in you ✨